Category Archives: Psychology

In the Place Just Right

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‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d,
To bow and to bend we shan’t be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be our delight,
Till by turning, turning we come ’round right.

Elder Joseph of the Shaker community in Alfred, Maine was correct:
When we find ourselves in the place just right, ‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

I was in that place this weekend, in that valley.  With my husband, walking my son down the aisle to marry his beloved, a young lady we adore.  All of our children participating and supporting their brother and sister-to-be.  Our parents, brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews all there with us. Surrounded by the love of our extended family and dear friends.

It is hard for me to imagine life being sweeter. Sure there were wonderful extras, a beautiful setting, music, food etc.  But that valley of love and delight is created by family and friends.  I’m sure I will be visiting this valley in my memories in the days and years to come.

I’m not sure who to thank for this good fortune but I am truly grateful.

The Label or the Characteristic?

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This headline caught my eye last week: “The Marriage Plot: Single CEOs Make for Riskier Investments”.

The article, which appeared on CNNMoney summarized a study conducted by two Wharton professors and released by the National Bureau of Economic Research. The study tracked 1500 public companies and found that the stocks of companies headed by executives who are single are riskier than shares of companies run by married CEO’s. “The companies with an unmarried CEO tended to spend more money on things like R&D, acquisitions and other investments that could more rapidly increase the size of their businesses, but also had a higher chance of blowing up. The result was a more volatile stock price.”

At first I found myself smiling reading this – after all, being married for 27 years and seeing a study that has data showing that marriage is tied to positive business results was appealing. Even the thesis that tied that better performance to a steadier, more spendthrift and less impulsive hand at the tiller felt good.

But I stopped myself – doesn’t this pose a risk of leading to the same bias issue I’ve written about? Where does one go with a study like this – should a board of directors therefore give preference to married CEO’s in their hiring? The problem, of course, is it focuses on a demographic label rather than the person’s individual characteristics. The board needs to assess the appropriate degree of growth through acquisitions, investments in R&D and other types of leadership that are needed by the company. They should combine this assessment with the other objective factors in their CEO selection and chose accordingly.

Furthermore, the best CEO’s will modulate their propensity to take risk to be appropriate to the company and it’s situation. Those CEO’s skills will be flexible for the situation. For instance HP today requires different strategies than those required of Meg Whitman at EBay in 1999. Maggie Wilderotter (CEO of Frontier Communications) is leading a >$4B market cap communications company while she previously lead a venture back startup – Wink Communications.

Timing also affects these assessments. When I worked at Check Point, pundits would often criticize the company and its CEO Gil Shwed for not being aggressive enough either in terms of marketing and R&D spend or acquisitions – and as such comparing the company unfavorably to Cisco or Juniper. A quick check of the Nasdaq shows how temporal these views can be. Check Point was able to cleanly weather the economic downturn and is now well positioned for growth significantly outperforming those company’s stocks over the last 5 years.

As I look back on my three years as CEO of SugarSync I believe that in the first year, stabilization and conservative management were particularly important to build employee and customer confidence. In hindsight, during the following two years I think we probably could have handled a bit more risk and aggressiveness and I am changing some of our strategies accordingly. How correct this assessment is won’t be known for some time.

Avoiding the Power Poison

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I’m enjoying reading “Good Boss, Bad Boss” by Robert Sutton. He is well known for his book “The No Asshole Rule”. There is a new chapter in it that was excerpted on Fast Company. The basic premise is that the very fact of being in a power position for any length of time amplifies our tendencies to be blind to our weaknesses and dehumanize others who do not have as much power.

I remember thinking about this a lot during the Mark Hurd and Elliot Spitzer scandals. I found the Mark Hurd situation so surprising because he had a long-standing reputation for strict policy adherence, conservative demeanor etc. while at NCR. The WSJ had a great article at the time on this topic. It’s not that the people in power started off Machiavellian or unethical. In fact the research shows the opposite. Nice, ethical people are more likely to rise to power. But, unfortunately, those traits that helped them accumulate power, tend to disappear once they rise through the ranks.

Why is this and how can we counter this tendency? First the why. According to the psychologists one issue is “feelings of eminence” e.g. while others shouldn’t speed, they are important people with important things to do so it’s ok for them to speed. Power makes people myopic and less empathetic – it’s harder to imagine things from another’s perspective. And of course, the people surrounding those in power may contribute to these trends – telling them they are right and important.

Given the very real negative business and personal consequences of this power poisoning it’s worth thinking about how to counter this trend. I love the findings of Stanford researcher Hayagreeva Rao that “bosses who still are married to their first spouses (rather than a “trophy” husband or wife) and have teenage children are less prone to such delusions, because no matter how much their underlings kiss up to them, the people at home don’t hesitate to bring them down a notch when required”.

This correlation or causation is well and good but obviously not every person in a position of power will be in this family situation and we need other tools to buck the poisoning trend. One tool that I believe in is the “360 Review”. Scott Weiss wrote about this on his blog. It’s something I’ve been doing yearly since joining SugarSync. The key is anonymity – staff members can tell the third party what they really think. Hopefully they can tell their boss to their face but in case not – there is another mechanism. Of course there is no guarantee of action or change from the 360 but it’s a very useful tool.

Ultimately we need to consciously encourage dissent and feedback and not punish it. When a conclusion is forming, solicit the perspective of the other side. Highlight the importance of the contribution of the dissenter. I often think of our nation’s practice on the supreme court – minority views are highlighted even though they are not the law of the land.

Finally, I don’t mean to imply by this blog post that I think I have so much power :-).  SugarSync is a fast growing but still small company. That being said, there are 55 people who are investing a big chunk of their life in SugarSync and I want to be sure not to drink the poison so that I can help their jobs be as productive and enjoyable as possible. So to that end, to my friends, family and team here I ask you to keep me honest.

Hit me with your best shot!

Benefits to Kids of Mom’s Career (part one of two)

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When we discuss the challenges of balancing family and a career and the desirability for a mother to work full-time outside the home we often hear about the negatives.  In my experience as a daughter and a mother I must say that I see many positives.  I’m not talking about the ones the psychologists study and report on (e.g. that children of working moms have higher reading scores and better social skills – there are negatives on this front as well).  What is on my mind are the specifics – what specific experiences did my children have because of my career.

The one that is most obvious for our family is travel and international experiences.   I was interested in international relations since college and international marketing and sales since I started my business career.  When I started my career here in the valley I wasn’t able to find a position focused on international marketing from the start so I began in product and channel management but I was looking for international opportunities from the start.

I worked quite a bit with the European sales teams at Informix then when Informix started its Latin American division I joined.  I ended up moving to Sao Paolo for six months to open the Informix office and Derek (6.5), Todd (4) and our nanny Susan came with me.  It was an incredible experience for all of us.  The boys got to experience school in Brazil, play on a local youth soccer team and briefly live an urban lifestyle.  We traveled every other weekend all over the country.  The school was an international one so we made friends with people from all over the world.

Steve and his partner Gus Spanos had just formed a company to purchase 2 Miller beer distribution franchises so they were incredibly busy.  Of course the separation was very hard on all of us, especially the boys, but Steve was able to come down and spend 2 weeks with us in the middle.  We took a great trip to the Amazon and several other regions of Brazil.

I wrote previously about my experiences traveling with Margot in Latin America. I continue to take the kids with me when possible.  Margot joined me at Mobile World Congress in Barcelona two years ago and last year Adam, Margot came with me to Tokyo.  We’ve also had innumerable international visitors to our home for dinners and meetings and the kids have gotten to know them.  I believe that there is something different and more educational being exposed to a foreign country and culture when connecting through work (or volunteering) rather than simply as a tourist. You get to know people and about their day-to-day lives – not just the tourist sites, although those are great too which brings me to my next point…

There is that second order benefit.  I’ve racked up literally millions of frequent flyer miles – it’s been several years since I received this card in the mail.  Steve has earned his share of miles as well and that has funded the air part of a good many of our trips – South Africa, Vietnam, Europe, Peru – you name it.  Of course there is the downside to all this travel.  Time away from home is not without consequences – there are things I’ve missed and it’s hard on the spouse at home.  But even that has some benefits – the kids learn a bit of independence and see that Dad is competent to keep them fed and productive and even tucked in with bedtime stories at night.

It’s hard to know exactly how these experiences have affected the kids.  I have to believe, though, that given how small our world is becoming, familiarity with other places, people and cultures will only be more important.  Derek and Todd, as physicians will be taking care of people in a country where more than 10% of the population are immigrants – that percentage is certainly much higher for their likely patient populations during residency.  Margot is considering a foreign language major (among many possibilities).  Adam is enjoying Spanish 3-honors – who knows where this can lead 🙂

Got Ambition?

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“Got Ambition?” as first appeared in http://www.womenonbusiness.com December 13, 2011  Preview here: http://www.womenonbusiness.com/got-ambition/

I recently stumbled upon a women and workplace survey from MORE magazine which raises the question of the ambition of women, and lays out data from the survey related to what we really want from our careers. A few stats especially caught my eye, including “When asked point-blank, 43 percent of women described themselves as less ambitious now than they were 10 years ago; only 15 percent reported feeling more ambitious.”

I discussed this with a fellow (woman) colleague and we both reached the conclusion that from our experience woman are not less ambitious, just giving voice to our conflicted emotions while we seek the ideal work-life balance for our stage in life.

Read more here: http://www.womenonbusiness.com/got-ambition/

Women Are More Portable

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I happened to read a fascinating article in Harvard Business Review – it’s a couple of years old but it was part of an email to me by HBS and the title caught my eye – “How Star Women Build Portable Skills”.  You can read the full text of the article here.  The thesis is that, unlike men, when star women switch firms, they maintain their “star” performance.  The author, Boris Groysberg, attributes this to two factors:

  • “Unlike men, high-performing women build their success on portable, external relationships – with clients and other outside contacts.
  • Women considering job changes weigh more factors then men do, especially cultural fit, values, and managerial style”

In reading this article I was excited to see it start on such a quantitatively solid footing.  The “star” women were actually equity analysts so their performance and their company’s performance could be clearly measured.  When you get to the factors part I couldn’t help but think – this is a no-brainer.  Of course women build external networks – the “old boy” networks internally are typically unavailable to them and similarly knowing that they may have a strike or two against them in a future company culture they will really do their homework.  I wouldn’t be surprised if this is true for other minorities as well.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with my grandfather Sam when I was in college.  During a visit home my freshman year, he asked me what I was majoring in.  When I told him political science he was not too pleased.  He encouraged me to be sure to have a “skill” – something “portable” though that was not the word he chose.  Doctor was best but accountant was fine, even carpenter would have better than “political scientist” in his view.  The reason for his opinion was reasonable for someone who had to make a living as an immigrant.  If you have to pick up quickly and move to another country due to persecution – you are better off as someone with a clearly sellable skill than as a liberal arts major.  This instinct for self-preservation I think must be present in people who are successful despite a more challenging environment.   It doesn’t just apply to choice of major – it applies to how you conduct your career.

Tapestries of Hope

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This evening we had the privilege of attending a screening of “Tapestries of Hope,” a powerful film made by Michealene Risley.  The film tells the story of Betty Makoni who is the founder and leader of the “Girl Child Network” a multinational organization, started in Zimbabwe to champion the rights of girl children.  There has been an epidemic of rape of young girls as traditonal healers have prescribed “rape of a young virgin” as a cure for HIV/AIDS.  Girls as young as infants have been raped and killed outright and infected.  During the discussion that ensued after the movie Michealene said an amazing statistic (which I verified at the site below) that more than 25% of girls in the US are sexually abused as children.  I was blown away by this – we are a society of walking wounded.  I found the approach GCN takes to healing – let it be child directed and encouraging communication, profoundly simple and something that can be applied anywhere in the world.

Michealene and Betty’s personal stories are fascinating and empowering, their bravery is admirable.  More information on them and their organizations are on the websites listed below.

I suppose the lack of female high-tech C.E.O.’s seems like a less critical issue but it can’t help but cause me to think how deeply seated gender equality issues are in our society.

http://www.girlchildnetworkworldwide.org/about/

http://www.tapestriesofhope.com/index.html

Rind, B; Tromovitch, P., & Bauserman, R. (1998). “A meta-analytic examination of assumed properties of child sexual abuse using college samples”. Psychological Bulletin 124 (1): 22–53. doi:10.1037/0033-2909.124.1.22. PMID 9670820.

If it’s important do it in the morning

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Wake me up when September Ends – Green Day

I am not a religious person in the strict sense of belief in god but religion has always been a big part of my identity and family life and I believe it offers many important life lessons.  When at a recent family event, the Rabbi gave a sermon about being in a hurry to do “Mitzvot” (translated as commandments and/or good deeds).  His point was, if something is really important, you should move with alacrity to do it.  More specifically you should do the most important things first, if possible, in the morning.

This lesson applies to so many aspects of life.   It is one of the foundational principles of the agile development process (scrum) that we use here at SugarSync and I work on it with my children (homework before video games).  Work in priority order even if it’s tempting to “knock off” lower priority quicker tasks.

I have found a recent application of this principle in my personal life.  I have always been a regular weekend exerciser but despite many New Year’s resolutions and some fits and starts of after-work workouts, I never became a regular weekday exerciser.   The research is very clear, however, that morning exercisers are more consistent.  I knew this and my excuse had been that I am not a morning person – I have been a night owl since childhood.  At the same time I know that if I need to get up early I do – be it for work, a flight, a child needing me – I can do it, I just don’t like to.  So really the morning exercise excuse was question of prioritization.  I finally made up my mind that it was enough of a priority to set my alarm get up early.  I’m 4 months into this new routine (at least 3 weekdays per week) and I’m glad to be doing it.   At least once I get going J

Heading off to college

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https://thekitchensync.co/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/i-miss-you.mp3

Today is a big day in the Yecies home.  Chickadee number 3 is leaving the nest on the redeye tonight.  My daughter Margot is heading off to college – she will be a freshman at Dartmouth.  Legions of parents before me know how bittersweet this moment is.  I’m so proud of her accomplishments and independence and don’t wish for some alternative.  But I also know, having gone through this twice before, that our family unit is forever altered.

I was all set to write a blog post this morning about how the cloud is going to help us stay connected – sharing photos etc. but the reality is she is going to be living 3094 (yes I mapped it) miles away in New Hampshire.  Not kissing me goodbye when she walks out the door.  Not sitting across from me at the dinner table, not doing our girl stuff or hanging out on the weekend.  Her room is strangely neat as 5 duffle bags of her stuff sits in the hallway.  Why was I always bugging her to clean her room? Right now I wish it were messy and full with her in it.  No technology, certainly not the cloud, changes the feelings of this transition.

Let’s get it started

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Isn’t that the best advice for any project that seems hard?  A blog is no different so I’m starting here and now.

Welcome to my blog.

A brief explanation on the name.  Merriam Webster says the Kitchen Sink implies being made up of “a hodgepodge of disparate elements or ingredients”.  Often times I feel that life, or at least my life, is sort of a Kitchen Sink – work, kids, travel and other activities. I love the mixture, though I’m always trying to get it more organized and “in sync” – hence the Kitchen Sync.  Not to mention the fact that my company is all about syncing your digital life.

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs lately.  I get a lot of enjoyment from all of the ones I read regularly – but more than enjoyment, some have had such significant impact on me both personally and professionally that I thought it was my turn to contribute.  I hope that you enjoy my blog, but even more, I hope that I can share something from my experiences that will benefit you.